The Rising

I have no excuses 

only admissions 

I am a work in progress 

my soul intact

battling the urge to avoid

I sit within these moments of suffering

knowing the seeds of growth are sown here

within striations of the morning sun there is hope

my heart’s pace steadies with the new day

#prikcab #gododgocafe #therising

Balancing Act

there is a message reminding us to stay in the present

this focus should not neglect the past and the future

often uncertainty and fear create imbalance

commitment to future needs and desires must balance the present moment

without balance, we stumble and fall

if we fall, we must push ourselves to rise

there will be hands of others extended

Empty Space

a space exists

the wish is to fill it in

we reach outside of ourselves

believing what we need, we do not hold

tilling beneath the surface offers no clear sightline

hands tremble, eyes wander, the mind paces

it takes time

trust it’s inside

until then, the space is ok

growth requires it

Wait

“a change in the weather is known to be extreme”

Weather, like time, like love – cannot be controlled. Flowing at their pace and at their will, carving paths that we must travel within or around. 

Staying true to ourselves cannot be siloed where we are not changing and adapting. Forcing ourselves into change is not the way. It requires openness and it takes time. 

Be aware of what cannot be controlled.

Take it in.

Give it some time.

Make the change that feels right.

I’m Always Standing in My Way

Certain days require a bit “more” to help us out from under the covers (especially when two warm pups are bracketing your body).  Sometimes it’s helpful to recall good memories to remind us why we rise up and what we may encounter each day. 

I can recall…

… being enthralled in the presence of a giggling baby

… sitting on a grassy hill with a beautiful friend in the warm sunshine surrounded by music

… gently holding the hand of someone that truly loves you

… seeing my children enjoying each other and showing care and compassion for one another

… waking to the morning sun to the a voice or text of “good morning love”

… listening to the crashing waves with bodies entwined with someone you love

… watching a young pup carelessly entertaining themselves, prancing and hopping while flipping a ball into the air

… staring into the eyes across from you and feeling like it’s all you needed

Time to get going.

parking lot heart waiting for me?

Painted Black

this just may be my communion 

seeking us 

I gave you me

the only one 

I was capable of

you needed more

we are the cruel casualty 

unintended 

we thought there was time

maybe there still is

too late to fear tomorrow 

it’s where we can begin again

With These Steps

Often thoughts, words and even full writings come to me while walking. This was written during one of my daily walks just about a year ago. The words appear almost completely unedited from when I hammered them out on my phone as I walked. 

I like to think of it in the form of how I hear one of my favorite bands (Silver Jews). Their writing and cadence of delivery was in my head as the words flowed.

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with these steps the song will be written

that barking dog doesn’t scare me anymore, there was just something on his mind

now weathered and unmarked, roadside posts no longer lead the way

these endless right turns have you dizzy and ready to move on

roads ahead are unknown, but circles never reach tomorrow

red with beauty, winter berries hung upon the weeping shrub

drawing my gaze were orange shutters framing the mustard home

what is the wish of the oak as it envies the redwood

chimneys choke down yesterday’s forest while chasing away winter’s blues

stone walls stare down the seasons, sharing no secrets

raging passion, not anger carries the fight to defend

tattered flags wave farewell as the wind takes troubles away

those manicured lawns tended to by the busy mind cannot hide the pain inside 

refusing to face these problems has you slipping in place 

a lone hawk stands upon a barren branch as a distant spring stands in delay

some Silver Jews faves to get you acquainted

the Wind

the house is quiet

gusts rush in

have you met the wind

ears perked, perched at the sidelight 

fear announced with  a low grumble

have you met the wind

on this winter’s evening it drives right through

carrying pellets assuring you feel the sting 

warm and singing in spring

wrapping our skin in hope of new beginnings 

summer winds have a deep calming voices

rarely around the rain this time of year

an autumn wind owns the season

wafting young sugary leaves from and plants hunkering down 

have you met the wind

unique to the season

letting you know what’s at your feet or approaching

carrying away what we don’t hold tight

have you met the wind

I have 

so have you 

Did You

did you hear me calling out to you

     a whisper at first

     growing to a scream

     returning  to a whisper 

did you see my hand reaching out to you

     maybe you could not see

     in the darkness behind the tears 

     it was there

did you feel my heart beating for you

     unlike the calm beats when you sat by my side

     now anxious erratic thumps and pauses

     you control the pace,  it hasn’t stopped